|Occupation||British Army colonel|
|First seen||Command Decision|
|Last Seen||Wake-Up Walmington|
|Portrayed by||Geoffrey Lumsden|
|List of Characters|
- "Wait a minute. The penny's beginning to drop!"
- ―Captain Square
Captain Square, CBE, DSO, was a colonel in the British army and, later, the captain of the Eastgate Home Guard.
He had been a Colonel in the regular army, had fought in the desert in the past (possibly alongside Lawrence of Arabia) and would regale people with boring stories about his military service. He was also a lay magistrate.
Square made his first two appearances in Series 1 as 'Colonel Square', as at that point he was not a member of the Home Guard. He reappeared in Series 2 as 'Corporal Colonel Square' (a Home Guard designation given to former regular army officers for whom there was no vacancy at their previous rank, which enabled their former rank to be recognised) of the Eastgate platoon, but in subsequent series he had taken the rank of Captain.
The significance of the role
His role was to act as a rival to Captain Mainwaring, along with ARP Warden William Hodges and Maurice Yeatman (the verger). Mainwaring and Square were two men with some similarities but also different personal histories. Square was even more pompous than Mainwaring, and rather condescending towards his less experienced rival. Mainwaring sometimes called Square a "pompous idiot". Square did have a sense of humour, although it may not have been to everyone's taste—e.g. he would deliberately mispronounce Mainwaring's name phonetically ("Main-waring"), and on one occasion he deliberately got Mainwaring drunk in a drinking game ("being made a cardinal"). Square could be over-confident and pompous at times, and Mainwaring and the Walmington platoon did sometimes get the better of Square and the Eastgate platoon. He also often makes statements derogatory to Mainwaring's character, such as "typical of Mainwaring not being here when he's wanted, lazy slacker."
- 1. Order of the British Empire CBE
- 2. Distinguished Service Order
- 3. Queen's South African War Medal (1899–1902)
- 4. King's South African War Medal (1901–1902)
- 5. 1914 Star (or 1914–15 Star)
- 6. British War Medal
- 7. Allied Victory Medal
- 8. India General Service Medal (1909)
- 9. General Service Medal
- 10.King George V Silver Jubilee Medal
- 11.King George VI Coronation Medal
- 12.King Edward VII Coronation Medal
In Battle of the Giants he is seen with the additional following medals, while missing numerous others such as the DSO and Coronation medals.
- 1. Eygpt medal
- 2. Queen's Sudan Medal
- 3. Africa General Service Medal
Assuming he stayed with his platoon until it was disbanded, his 3 years of Home Guard service would make him eligible for the Defence Medal, worn between the Allied Victory Medal and the India General Service Medal (1909).
- In Don't Forget the Diver he is wearing a ribbon which has white on each side and brown in the middle and a gold centre.
- It is not sure what ribbons he wore in Command Decision , A Stripe for Frazer and Under Fire (the latter two of which are currently missing from the BBC's archives), as those episodes are black and white.