|Series 3, Episode 12|
|Air Date||27th November 1969|
|Written by||Jimmy Perry and David Croft|
|Original Audience Figures||Unknown|
|Next episode||No Spring for Frazer|
|List of episodes|
Mainwaring is giving a lecture on the progress of the second world war, and admits that Germany and Italy have thrown the Allies out of Greece and Crete, but reminds them that Rudolf Hess surrendered not too long ago, so the rats are leaving the sinking ship. However, he tells the platoon that the enemy are dropping empty parachutes to confuse the people, and if they spot one, they must report it to GHQ. Jones wonders what the difference is between Allies parachutes and Axis parachutes. Mainwaring's memo tells him that British parachutes are white, while Nazi parachutes are a dirty, creamy, off-white. Frazer points out that the parachutist may be miles away by the time they find the parachute, so Walker decides to bring a tracker dog to the next parade.
After the parade, Jones decides to go to the pub, but Walker has to talk to Mainwaring. He confides in Mainwaring and Wilson that he found a parachute not too long ago. Mainwaring is anxious to know whether it was white or cream. Walker can't remember, as he sold it on his stall in the guise of eight dozen pairs of ladies knickers! He, Mainwaring and Wilson now have the unenviable task of trying to find a pair among the citizens of Walmington-on-Sea. Unsurprisingly, they have no luck, except a young lady who has no hesitation in showing Wilson her blue knickers! The people they have questioned complain to ARP Warden Hodges, who leaves Mainwaring in a tough situation when a pair of knickers emerge from a letterbox!
During a stealth practice the next day, Walker brings in the tracker dog. They test the dog's sniffing power by having Jones pretending to be a Nazi parachutist. They remove Jones' jacket and allow the dog to pick up his scent. As they head up the church hall stairs, Mrs Pike arrives to remind Wilson about their téte-a-téte supper. As the platoon, Jones and the dog come charging down the stairs, they knock down Mrs Pike, revealing her knickers. Walker remembers that he sold the last pair to Mrs Pike, and they're white: it was a English parachute!
Some time later, Hodges notices a parachute stuck in a tree. He is so busy trying to get it down, that he doesn't have any problems in giving directions to Downsend Woods for a man with a peculiar accent. Just as he removes the parachute, the platoon arrive, and it isn't long before the dog picks up the scent. Hodges tells Mainwaring about the man with the German accent, and it isn't long before they spot him. They chase him into some dilapidated old buildings with another dog, and storm him. However, it turns out he's a Viennese ornithologist, looking for a Golden Oriole egg. Suddenly, a German pilot comes charging in, desperate to give himself up.
- Arthur Lowe as Captain Mainwaring
- John Le Mesurier as Sergeant Wilson
- Clive Dunn as Lance-Corporal Jones
- John Laurie as Private Frazer
- James Beck as Private Walker
- Arnold Ridley as Private Godfrey
- Ian Lavender as Private Pike
- Bill Pertwee as ARP Warden Hodges
- Janet Davies as Mrs Pike
- Patrick Tull as Suspect
- Robert Moore as Large Man
- Leon Cortez as Small Man
- Olive Mercer as Fierce Lady
- Miranda Hampton as Sexy Lady
- Robert Aldous as German Pilot
- Bran (the dog) as Himself
- The real shot-down German pilot is played by an actor would later play another German pilot in Resisting the Aggressor Down the Ages, wearing the same clothes and with no facial difference