|Never Too Old|
|Series 9, Episode 6|
|Air Date||13th November 1977|
|Written by||Jimmy Perry and David Croft|
|Original Audience Figures||Unknown|
|Previous episode||Number Engaged|
|List of episodes|
Mrs Fox has finally agreed to marry Corporal Jones - even if it is just to ensure a supply of meat. But even the wedding reception find the Home Guard called into action as they are put on full invasion alert...
Mrs Fox stops by the church hall is search of Corporal Jones, but she is met by Private Godfrey who tells her that the rest of the platoon has gone for a march and won't be back for some time. Mrs Fox then tells Godfrey that she was going to call Jones to "put him out of his misery."
When the Platoon arrive back, they notice that Jones is missing. Pike and Frazer then reveal that he failed to turn right on the march and just kept walking straight. Jones then arrives late in a very cheerful mood and asks Mainwaring for a heart-to-heart, man to man talk. He reveals to Mainwaring and Wilson that he has asked Mrs Fox to marry him, and wants Mainwaring's permission to do so. Mainwaring agrees, and Mrs Fox telephones and tells Jones that she will marry him.
At the wedding ceremony, Mainwaring has agreed to give Mrs Fox away (her father is dead, and she has no other male relatives) and Wilson has agreed to be best man. The reception follows, but is drastically cut short when the Colonel informs Mainwaring of an invasion alert. Jones and Pike are then sent to keep watch at the pier where Mrs Fox comes to meet them. While Jones and Mrs Fox are discussing their future, Mainwaring and the rest of the platoon arrive with a bottle of champagne to drink to Jones's good health. Hodges interrupts them and tells them that the invasion alert was a false alarm and the stand-down has been given, adding that it's just as well because Mainwaring and his platoon would be no good against real soldiers. After Hodges leaves, Mainwaring, Wilson, Jones, Fraser, Pike and Godfrey all agree that no-one is getting past them and that there are hundreds of men just like them who are willing to fight for their freedom. Wilson suggests that they make a toast to the Home Guard. Mainwaring agrees, and the platoon raise their glasses and say together "To Britain's Home Guard!"
- The wedding guests were played by the regular cast members' real-life wives and girlfriends — i.e. those who were Equity members.
- The platoon breaks 'the fourth wall' in the closing shot, delivering the closing line direct to camera as they make their toast to the Home Guard.